Dessert that first night in Selu turned out to be fresh strawberries with cream supplied by Christine, the community\u2019s only cow. Dante and Chloe had relaxed a little by then. They were getting lots of attention from the Selu kids, who wanted to know what television shows they watched and whether they had Xboxes.<\/p>\n
After the dishes were cleared, some of the kids got out board games, others schoolwork. Dante\u2019s school has a good chess program, and he took up a challenge from a boy about his age. Chloe\u2019s eye was caught meanwhile by a gaggle of girls playing with actual corn-husk dolls and a father, seeing her interest, found one for her.<\/p>\n
The grownups, too, seemed to linger long after dinner, mostly chatting. One college-aged guy, in tattered wool sweater and jeans about two sizes too large, pulled out a guitar and began strumming blue grassy tunes.<\/p>\n
While the kids were occupied, I took out my BlackBerry and tried to dial in for messages, but got no service. As I was switching the phone off, I felt hands on my shoulders and looked up to see Leif. \u201cYou can either sleep here in the common house or at my place,\u201d he said. \u201cWe have a cot we can set up here. Unfortunately it gets a little cold at night. My house is a little small for four, but I think I can get you all in. And it\u2019s toasty when the fire is going. Take your pick.\u201d<\/p>\n
I hesitated, picturing the three of us crammed into Leif\u2019s little hut. \u201cI guess I\u2019ll just sleep here.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded. \u201cI\u2019ll see if I can get you a lot of blankets.\u201d<\/p>\n
Night walk Most people in Selu go to bed around sunset, partly to save electricity and partly to be in tune with nature. It made sense given the philosophy of the place, but I still couldn’t believe I was seeing people actually trickle out of the common house by ones and twos with their flashlights and lanterns, wishing each other goodnight at six p.m. In New York, most people are just getting revved up at that time of day.<\/p>\n The room began to feel big and dark and cold. Dante and Chloe came to huddle up against me. \u201cWhen are we going home?\u201d Chloe asked.<\/p>\n \u201cIn the morning.\u201d Saying that, I realized that Leif and I had hardly spoken. I wasn\u2019t sure what exactly I wanted to hear from him, but I knew I didn\u2019t want to stick around much longer. If we were going to talk about anything it would have to happen that night. So when he reappeared with an armload of blankets, I told him I\u2019d changed my mind. If the offer was still good, we\u2019d like to sleep at his house.<\/p>\n \u201cOf course.\u201d He smiled, handed me his flashlight and motioned for us to follow.<\/p>\n The trail wound upwards between rocks and through thick grass. His feet found their steps with deliberation, not, I sensed, because he couldn\u2019t move faster, but only so the rest of us could keep up. In a couple of places it turned sharply, and I was amazed that he could find it without seeing. \u201cI know it by heart, I\u2019ve lived here so long,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy? I mean, what brought you here of all places?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt seemed to have what I was looking for.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhich was?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPeace.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPeace? As in quiet? Then why not just get an apartment by yourself in some little suburb?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot that kind of peace. I wanted to get away from the noise of… what would you call it? Striving, I guess. And I didn\u2019t want to be alone. I wanted to join my life with other people\u2019s. And the earth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBack to nature.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBack to something more natural, anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n Chloe sat down. \u201cMy legs are tired.\u201d<\/p>\n I tugged at her hand. \u201cCome on, Chlo. Just a little further.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCarry me.\u201d<\/p>\n I took her in my arms. \u201cBut when did you turn so anti-civilization? I don\u2019t remember that being an issue when we were all living together in the \u201870s. Even when we moved up to the vineyard, the plan was that we were going to live in a regular house with gas and electricity and everything, right?\u201d<\/p>\n Leif was silent so long that I thought he hadn\u2019t heard me. When he spoke, his voice was even softer. \u201cI used to think technology could save us. I thought because of birth control and because people weren\u2019t tied to the farm or the house anymore, they had the freedom to create the kinds of relationships they really needed. But after what happened to our extended marriage, and happened again to Harmony House, I realized that freedom wasn\u2019t the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
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